Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Last Post....

Oh God....cannot believe I have not posted on here for months....but then I should all things considering, not reading a daily paper and all! I have upset some members of a forum (mostly men - what a surprise!) for writing how I talk and ranting. One of them suggested a start a blog cos he did not want to read my 'essays'. I told him I have two, but there were issues that there forum was for that this blog is not, and is not the place I wish to write about them.

I don't know what to say here, because the truth is I have seen little of the news lately, and this was supposed to be a news/journalism blog whereas music and lyrics are more what I do now. I wanted to post my lyrics on the fish out of water blog but I want to sort out copyright issues first, so meanwhile I have been posting videos by artists that have inspired me and the occasional rant about jerks who anger the hell out of me.

People have a reaction to me in that they either hate me or love me - that is my nature. I was bullied at school for being different, and I have made two friends on the mentioned forum, kindred spirits who are good to find because there are not many people like me! Most of those dudes hated me......but thats another story, morning glory hey there!

I have come to accept my madness - the struggle I find now is dealing with it rather than letting madness deal with me, so to speak.

Friends of mine - thank you for your love and support for me through hard times, I am a survivor and I will 'Live Through This' (to quote Courtney Love) as I have lived through the other madness in my crazy life. I lived through a mad childhood, and I had a go at being a politico - I guess I didn't do a bad job but it aint for me. I care about what goes on in the world still, believe in anarchy etc, but I have my reasons for dropping out of left politics and that form of journalism, the reasons for which I shall soon write of in 'Fish out of Water'. I intend to continue with writing as well as music but a different kind of lit, underground semi fiction. Wish me luck that the coming year will be better than the last. Not everyone may agree with all my choices but they are mine.

I've gotten too close to the sun and been burnt, got too far and frozen. I am still here, alive and kicking!

This is the last post I am making on this blog, but fish out of water will stay alive and well like many and any future posts will be on there. Thx for those who have read this so far, and a happy new year to all of you!

See me on FOOW,

Liz xxxxxxx

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sex Workers Rights Under Attack - Sign Petition Today!

Once again the paternal New Labour government (with, of course, it's supporters among do gooder middle class Guardian journos and the rad fems) are proposing a bill to criminalise the purchase of sexual services, putting not only the livelihood but also the safety of sex workers at risk. This lovely idea originates from Sweden - where such a law is in practice and has been for the past few years. It has made the lives of sex workers in that country intolerable. Women have been finding it harder to work indoors due to the 'anti procurement laws' which make it impossible to advertise, and often have no option but to work from the streets. They have to be less choosy about clients, as naturally men with jobs, families etc do not wish to be labelled as sex offenders. Men who are criminally inclined towards sex workers, however, have no such fear. Street prostitution in Sweden has not decreased since the law was introduced, and neither has violence against sex workers. Neither has trafficking or 'white slavery' - a practice that the law was ostensibly designed to help reduce.

Sex workers in Sweden will tell you that the government propaganda (swallowed by the establishment feminists in this country) is based on distortions and outright lies. A far better idea would be to work on the New Zealand model, which totally decriminalises both the selling and purchasing of sexual services.

To voice your opposition to this bill, please sign a petition here.

Here is an article I wrote for the Morning Star paper a few years ago on the New Zealand law, and here is another I wrote back in 2006 opposing the proposed law when it was being pontificated about even then.

Here can be found a useful site with some good articles criticising the law in Sweden and it's awful consequences for the lives of vulnerable women.

From a libertarian standpoint any consensual sexual acts are a private matter and the government should keep the hell out. Whether money is involved or not is irrelevant. Any patronising talk of sex workers being too vulnerable to be able to consent to sex, be it due to substance abuse, financial exploitation or whatever other problems they may face is an insult to the intelligence of women. While it is true that financial pressure applies to women in the sex industry, it is true for any job. I once had a low paid, boring job in an office and I hated it. My boss was financially exploiting me, but I saw no sign of police raiding his office door to put him away. Neither was I told by do gooders that I was 'unable to consent' to typing his letters or answering the phone for him because I was vulnerable. And substances? Hell, £5.50 an hour is barely enough for recreational use of anything, let alone to support an addiction. But being off my face would have made that job a bit more bearable, it just didn't pay enough. But I made sure at least I got drunk over weekends to relieve the boredom of the week.

Rad fems cry crocodile tears over the view of the sex worker as being the epitomy of the suffering of all women at the hands of the brutal male, and they objectify her as much as do the men they claim to despise. Ok, so there may be some rad fems who have been sex workers and have not had a good time. Their voices and views are valid, and I take them more seriously than I do those middle class women who are in no position to speak as they have never worked in that profession. However, the fact that these women have had bad experiences in that profession does not mean they have the right to speak on behalf of all sex workers and universalise their own experiences - or, even worse, try to make their own subjective feelings into law. They don't seem to mind the fact that they are held up as trophies and used by middle class women for political ends. They do not represent all sex workers (or former sex workers) any more than I can say that I have the right to speak on behalf of all low paid office workers, or former ones. Some women may just love working in offices - if so good luck to them, it just aint for me. Not all sex workers see themselves as victims, and to insist that they are unconscious of the fact they are being abused is a patronising and offensive attitude. It sure as hell offends me.

Radical feminists, the Swedish and British establishments, don't really give a damn about the safety or suffering of sex workers. What really outrages them is the offending of their middle class sensibilities. And hell, I love to offend middle class sensibilities and stupid prejudices. And I also despise the pinning of labels onto people - I've had people try to do so with me and have given them a surprise when they find I do not fit into the boxes they assign. Sex workers, of course, are more than just sex workers, they are individuals like anyone and you'll find that their attitudes and feelings about their work vary, as with any profession. Some may dislike what they do, others may enjoy it, and some are in the middle - they may not love what they do but find it preferable to working long and fixed hours for low pay in some factory, shop, or office - due to the fact that the hours are more flexible and the money is better.

Another important thing is not to confuse sexual slavery (forced prostitution) with sex work that is consensual, even if practiced under financial pressure. 'Trafficking' is not about sex work - it is about sexual abuse, rape, and slavery - a different thing. And even that is on shaky ground as the lines can be blurred. The numbers and extent of it are hard to estimate, but it seems to be rarer than the media promotes that women are literally taken off the street and bundled into vans and literally forced at gunpoint in that sense - although I don't deny it does occur, tragically. Or, for that matter, it is unlikely that so many women are so naive as to be blatantly deceived into thinking they will be working as nannies etc. What seems more likely is that they know what kind of work they will be doing but are lied to about pay and conditions, being financially exploited in a severe way. Their bosses do not allow them the liberty of leaving their job, so it does result in what is essentially slavery. But, the establishment would have little sympathy for the women involved if they admitted that they were aware of the nature of the work, so to say one has been forced is an easier way of gaining sympathy and avoiding deportation. And I don't blame them, hell, I'd do the same thing if needed be. Migrant workers of all description are harshly exploited, and the Chinese cockle pickers found dead on Morecambe Bay were working for a gang under bonded labour.

But the main issue is this - wage slavery (A Marxian term used for any kind of work in exchange for money, where a person is free to leave one's job and find another 'free' labour in other words) and slavery or bonded labour (where one is not free to leave and is literally the property of one's master or boss). This applies to the sex industry as much as any other, but the fact that it is underground and semi criminal makes it more liable to financial exploitation and abuse. The unionisation of sex workers is of course a step in the right direction, but adding repressive laws will make things like this harder to do, and leave women more open to the abuse that the government and the rad fems claim to oppose.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sex Workers and Domestic Violence........

Interestingly anonymous posted a comment on the financial issues regarding men and women and possible power imbalances while I was drafting this post.

I have a few words about the financial exploitation of women who sell sex - and it is often the men they live with who take this role.

Not all women who sell sex hook up with violent and abusive men who are financially exploitative. However, some do, it is not uncommon. Perhaps one issue is that not many men would feel comfortable with a partner who has such a job, and women in that profession attract men who are predatory and out for what they can get for that reason. But like any kind of domestic abuse, the tendency of women to put up with such treatment lies partly in a lack of self esteem or self doubt.

But what I don't believe is this - that men who are the partners of sex workers who are abusive (financially, physically, emotionally or otherwise - they can be all of those things) should be jailed for living off 'immoral' earnings. What their partners do for a living is really not the issue - the issue is that they are abusive, end of. They should be treated as any other abusers - if they are to be arrested for anything it should be for assault or extortion - not outdated and vague terms of immorality. Would it be any less 'immoral' if, say, a woman worked in a bank, had an unemployed husband at home who not only hit her but demanded control over their joint account? I think not. He would be arrested for assault - not for being the partner of a bank employee!

Also, there are labels given to male partners of sex workers which are innappropriate and unhelpful. In the old days a 'ponce' was a homosexual male. Now the term is taken to mean a man who is on the take - and is most commonly referred to men on the take from women who sell sex. What link is there here with homosexuality? There is none - unless it is taken for given that a 'real man' is a breadwinner and provider - while a man who stays at home is taking on a feminine role. This is a sexist and outdated term that is used by police as well as being street slang.

Truly if a woman wishes to stay in a relationship where the man does not contribute financially (even exploits her in that way) it is down to her. If she wishes to get out of an abusive relationship she should be given the support to do so - but what is the point in arresting her partner due to what she does for a living? Even if she is being taken for a ride, it is up to her to learn. Demonising her male partner due to her profession is unfair on her as it only ensures she will remain socially stigmatised. He is stigmatised not due to what he is (an abuser) but due to what she does and therefore is perceived as being.

The issue is therefore diverted from the main one (that of domestic abuse) and channelled into the futile debate over the rights and perceived wrongs of her profession.

What women do for a living is irrelevant to whether or not their partners abuse them physically, emotionally, or financially.

Those are my thoughts for the day. Don't know why I got onto that one but financial exploitation of any kind is always an issue, I guess.

Monday, August 24, 2009

About Emotional Abuse

My ex down to a tee - sadly I once believed that the man loved me intensely and believed his lies that the abuse was a sign of his love - that if he didn't love me I would not have 'made him mad'. I know now it was all lies. That is not love.

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Too familiar....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

More on Domestic Abuse....

Please don't believe the myth that abusive men 'cannot control their anger'. They can and they do. If they truly could not control it they would lose it with men as well as women. In fact, it is not all women they 'lose it' with - only their partners. They may indeed be angry men, but they are selective and controlled as to who they lose with.

They do not need anger management classes because they can already 'manage' their anger. They are manipulative men, and they express anger in order to control, because they are control freaks. Charm and seduction is another method of control. Abusers are the most romantic men in the beginning, it is only after a time into the relationship that they show their dark side. They only do this when they have already hooked their women. The first explosion can start over something seemingly trivial like a pan of burnt rice, but there is no going back after that point. You will find yourself living with a man who switches from charm to rage in a matter of seconds. You will live in fear of him, he will be your personal jailer. He will be jealous and possessive, persistently calling or texting to ask where you are and who you are with. You will no longer be allowed any opinions of your own, and he will belittle any tastes or opinions you have independent from him. You will be expected to read his mind and he will believe he can read yours. You will only be allowed to think in one way - his. Any shortcomings of his own he will project onto you, rarely himself. 'I'll be Your Mirror' is an apt phrase.

Many women fall into the trap of making excuses for their partners or hoping against all odds that he will change. I know because I have done both. When I was in an abusive relationship and my friends told me how shitty they thought his behaviour was, I would make excuses such as 'he's not well at the moment' or 'he's been stressed' etc. Like all abusive men, he would apologise after a flare up and promise to change his behaviour. He would turn the tears on, a tactic that is not uncommon. I would hope that that time he meant it. He never did. It did not last and he did not change, and his promises to make amends came to nothing. They never do. The next flare up could occur after a matter of hours, even minutes.

Men like this do not change unless they themselves are willing to admit that they have a problem, and they very rarely do.

It came to a point when I realised I could no longer justify his behaviour to myself or anyone else. I realised he was not going to change, and I realised I had to walk away.

The trouble is that many women have low self esteem and are too willing to play the victim. Predatory men pick up on these signals and move accordingly. It is time to realise that nobody deserves to be treated like a piece of dirt. Self esteem is a valuable resource - and, sisters, it may just save your life one day, or at least your sanity.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

More deadly than cancer.......

Just upsets me that this state of affairs continues and that there are so many jerks out there who seem to think wife beating is ok.

I used to wonder why people stayed in situations that are abusive, even though I had some idea. Now I know. An unhealthy emotional attachment is a part of it, but it isn't all there is. And it is not masochism, women generally do not enjoy abuse (I wish to knock that myth right on the head!!).

Part of it is fear, it is fear of what the other person may do if you leave. Depends how much of a psycho he is, and a lot of the time you don't want to put it to the test. Fear makes you apologise for things you know not to be your fault, it makes you consent to sex you don't want, it makes you stay in a relationship you are past wanting.

I say this because I've been there, sadly. Thank God I am out, now. But the emotional scars are still there.

Another thing to bear in mind is that physical abuse, while it may create more visable injuries, is not the only kind of violence. There is mental, verbal, mental violence, which is often even harder to cope with - being told everyday that you are stupid, ugly, nothing. The intention of the abuser is to make you feel like a piece of dirt - and eventually you do. It is mind control - repeat something to a person often enough and they will believe that. The aim of these sad man is to put their partners down to bring themselves up, they are deep down sad and sick men.

Now, I realise female on male DV is not unheard of these days, in fact I've written on here about it in the past. But it is a lot rarer. The number of men murdered by their female partners is miniscule compared with the number of women killed by men.

Of course, not all men are abusers. But sadly some still are, and these are the men I am talking about here. These sick men are like miniature dictators - with the large, inflatable egos of any tyrant. Yet however big their egos are, they are fragile. One prick with a pin and they burst, covering who is nearest to them with all the dirty water that lies in the dark recesses of their souls. Hence the blowing into rages over trivial things and their lack of tolerance of any criticism of their behaviour, however mild. Yet they are selective, it is fine for them to batter at their partner's ego because they feel they are entitled to. Because they are men.

Zero tolerance for this kind of sexual facism as I am concerned. Wife beaters are cowards at heart - nine times out of ten they are charming in public and everyone down the local pub says what wonderful guys they are. All the hatred and venom is reserved for their partners. Usually they will back away from a confrontation with a man, because bullies cannot pick on those their own size.

Like any bullies they are sad and small inside, psychologically they feel like dirt so they feel the need to bring someone else down to their level and make them feel like dirt as well. It is time to say no more. Learning to understand it will help stop this problem. This series will be updated.
A good article here:

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Hello all,

Just to let all my readers know I am alive and well after not writing for a good while due to a few problems, partly concerned with recovering from a turbulent time and finding myself again.

I have to say that while my views are largely the same, a few have been modified due to experience. I am still in favour of the legalisation/decriminalisation of narcotics, left leaning libertarian and all. This site from now on is going to focus on current affairs (when I feel the inclination to comment on them) but there is also a new blog of mine I am starting which is stated on my profile - Fish out of Water. That site will be concerned with my personal musings, along with my music and lyrics. Nothing has been written on there so far but it will be up and running soon. I'll upload a couple of pictures soon too.

All the Best and thanks to my readers from the past, sorry for not having written so long,

Liz xxx